Weddings aren't simple. There are rules and procedures at every turn. People learn a lot about dealing with guests when planning a wedding. One of the elements of a good wedding is the rehearsal dinner, with its own set of rehearsal dinner etiquette. Understand the rules can make all the difference and lead to success and fun.
The groom's parents are considered to be the hosts for the rehearsal dinner. That means the organization and decisions should be left to them. For couples who prefer to host the dinner themselves as a thanks to the families and wedding guests, make sure to explain the reasoning to the grooms parents so as not to insult them. And if they take it hard, include them in some way. Why take on more work when letting others manage it makes them happier?
The dinner should take place the day before the wedding, directly after the wedding rehearsal. This ensures that all the guests and family are in town, available to attend. It's very bad form to hold the rehearsal dinner too far in advance of the wedding. It potentially excludes some people. The last thing needed from a wedding is hurt feelings in either family. Remember, for the bride and groom both families are soon to become their family.
It's a must to invite the immediate relatives of both the bride and groom. The entire bridal party, each with a guest, should also be asked to attend along with any other friends and family the bride and groom would like to have at the dinner. The preacher or whoever officiates the wedding, offers the vows, should also be invited. Just like with the wedding be very careful with who is invited or not. Maybe uncle Albert is a little rude, but is it worth a lifetime of bad blood to exclude him?
Include a social time before the dinner so people can relax and talk. It's important to consider the feelings of all the guests and to provide a pleasant atmosphere. Keep this dinner in line with the budget of the overall wedding. If it's a million dollar wedding then the rehearsal dinner should reflect this. By the same token a budget wedding should have too fancy of a rehearsal dinner. Finally, make sure the dinner ends fairly early so people can be well rested for the next day's festivities.
The bride and groom toast all those helping to make the wedding wonderful. This of course means both sets of parents. The toast comes after the main course. Other toasts, for example the best man's toast, happen at the reception.
A good wedding can be better with a smooth rehearsal dinner. Pay attention to rehearsal dinner etiquette.